


Dear Diary

by Fighting4Fandoms, funkyneighbourhoodlesbian



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Angst, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Ben Hargreeves' Tentacles | Bentacles, Diary/Journal, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighting4Fandoms/pseuds/Fighting4Fandoms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkyneighbourhoodlesbian/pseuds/funkyneighbourhoodlesbian
Summary: The Hargreeves children weren't exactly known for being the most sociable of the bunch, even though they were raised together. Grace bought the kids a diary each so it would enable them to put their thoughts onto paper.
Relationships: The Hargreeves Family
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. Dear Dad

**Author's Note:**

> A brainchild of Fighting4Fandoms and funkyneighbourhoodlesbian.  
> What could go wrong? 
> 
> Just kidding! We had a lot of fun writing this! 
> 
> The first half of Luther's chapter is by funkyneighbourhoodlesbian and the second half is by Fighting4Fandoms

Dear Dad,

Mom gave us all these diaries so that we have somewhere to share our thoughts when she’s too busy to listen. Or for private thoughts that we don’t want to share with others, I suppose. I’ve decided I want to use mine to write down all the things I wish I could tell you. Maybe one day, you’ll have the time to listen.

Do you remember the Eiffel Tower mission? We watched it take off, and I told you that I’d like to go to space. You said I could, in the future. Did you mean that? I really, really want to go to space. It’s so cool. When I look up to the night sky and see all of those stars, it makes me wonder what else is out there. Space is so big and unexplored, and I want to be the one to explore it. Imagine being the first man to live on Mars? That would be awesome. Do you have a favorite constellation, Dad? Mine’s Orion. I’d like to discover an alien species, but I wouldn’t be mean to them by trying to cut them open like they do in the movies. I’d try to befriend them. Surely we aren’t alone in the universe. Do you believe in aliens? I do. They have to exist. There’s just no way that we’re the only life forms. I’d love to hear your opinions on this, Dad.

I told Number Two about my love of space. He thinks it’s stupid. “It’s so cold and dark and lonely up there. Why would you ever want to leave the planet?” he said. I told him, “to get some peace and quiet away from you.” I do hope you send me to space. Not just because it’s my dream. I want to make you proud, Dad.

* * *

Dear A, 

I’m really glad that no one reads this. 

There’s a part of me that thinks that I shouldn’t have these feelings for you but I can’t help it. Everytime I lay my eyes on you I just see the sun. Bright and beautiful. Even if you didn’t have your powers, I think that your voice it’s so enchanting. I could listen to it all day. I managed to sneak out of the house today with Klaus, Ben, Diego and Five while you were having your training session. I don’t think Dad even knew that we were gone. They were at Griddy’s Doughnuts while I went to get you a gift. It’s not much but it’s a token of how I feel for you. I know that you like gold jewellery, they always look so nice on you. 

I have a plan. One day, when we’re older, we’ll go anywhere that we want to. I’ll even take you to see the stars. I think that someone stole a few and put them into your eyes. I know that what we have doesn’t make sense… I suppose blood does run thicker than water but we don’t exactly share that blood. I just hope that this isn’t one sided otherwise I’m more of a freak than I first realized. 


	2. Dear Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego's chapter was done by Fighting4Fandoms

Dear Mom, 

Being in a house with six siblings, well, I thought it would be easier to not feel so alone. It seems that it’s only really you that seems to make any effort to understand me. I know that you can’t be there for every second of every day but sometimes I wish you were just so I wouldn’t feel so alone. It’s hard being Number Two, I don’t have… Dad doesn’t seem to trust me. At all. He always puts Number One first and it’s really starting to get to me. I know that it shouldn’t but it does. 

Thanks, by the way, for helping me the other day. I knew that I could have sent the dagger in the other direction but Dad didn’t let me. He always makes me feel so small. Those specialized training schedules? I hate them? Dad, well, I hate him too. It’s not fear as such. I mostly feel ashamed. I know that I have the potential for greatness, if only he could see that too. I bet the mark behind my ear is going to leave a scar. Great. Just what I need. Another reminder that I’ll never be as good as Number One.

It’s not just knives, by the way, I can direct other projectiles (well, all of them) I just like knives. There’s just something about them. The way they look, the way they feel in my hand. So much damage in such a little thing. You always see the good in people, Mom. I don’t get how. I see you smile and it makes me happy to know that you can really feel. You feel more than our father and that says something. 

You might not be real but you are to me. 


	3. Dear Rue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was done by funkyneighbourhoodlesbian!

Dear Rue,

I hope you like the new stickers I put on your cover. I think you look extra cute now. So, what’s new? I’ll tell you what’s not new. Boys. I hate having five brothers. Ok, you’re right, Ben isn’t so bad. But Diego ate the last of the poptarts. I was saving those for a midnight snack! Can you believe that, Rue? The audacity. Having a sister is no more fun, either. Vanya is so gloomy all the time. No one and nothing is more important to her her than that dumb violin of her’s. She’s good, though. I’ll give her that.

If Dad let us get a pet each, what do you think I should get? I mean, I know we have Pogo, but he’s not a pet, he’s family. I’d want something cool, like a snake. Wonder what the boys would think of that. I would hide it in Diego’s bed to get him back for the poptart incident. He’d probably wet his pants, to be honest. And go crying to mommy. (Maybe I could rumor him to wet his pants. No, that’s too mean. It would be funny though). Klaus would probably get a black cat and call it something sinister, like, I don’t know, Hades. Actually, I suppose that would suit Klaus, since Hades is the god of the underworld, guardian of the dead. Ben would be boring and get an animal that’s quiet like him. A tortoise, or maybe a goldfish. He’d love and care for it, though, whatever he got. Honestly, I don’t think Diego could handle anything bigger than a hamster, and Five would probably try and build his own robo-pet. I think Luther is a dog person. What do you think, Rue?

Mom made a good decision when she bought us these diaries. I feel like I have an actual best friend when I confide in you, Rue. Wow, that sounds sad, huh? Anyway, I have to go to training in a moment. Speak to you soon!


	4. Dear Katrina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was done by Fighting4Fandoms!

Hey Kat, 

So, I guess I’m back. 

Sometimes I get the feeling that I have much more to offer than I realize. The way Dad looked at me today, before leaving me in that stupid hellhole, it was far more scary than I would have liked. You know what it’s like to stare into those cold, dead eyes? I do. I’m used to seeing the dead but Dad can be terrifying. Every time I close my eyes I can see them, all the ghosts. I can’t sleep at night, or in the day. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just lie down and be fueled by something other than energy? I would literally sell my soul to never sleep. Never have to sleep, I should say. I saw Diego today, he was… crying. I never like seeing my siblings cry but there’s something really off-putting about seeing Diego cry. He always tries to look strong on the outside but I know that he isn’t. He promised me to not tell anyone, but I guess I can confide in you, but he knows about the whole mausoleum deal. He crept into my room last night to make sure I was okay. I always knew that he was a big softie. If it’s not Diego, it’s usually Ben. Ben and I, let’s just say that we’re used to seeing monsters in the dark. Allison and I paint each other’s nails, Luther is always that big, strong, Daddy’s little soldier, and Five… is Five. We’re all alone in our own way but Five prefers it. He likes solitude. Little weirdo. Vanya, what can I say about Vanya? I feel bad for her, Diego always makes it his mission to tell Vanya how useless she is. I get that, Kat. I really do. 

They don’t get it. I don’t expect them to. Ben, can. Ben always can. He knows what it’s like. Luther doesn’t. Diego can feel a bit of sympathy for me, he is a tad detached though. Allison is a good sister but sometimes she can feel a little manipulative, like she’ll make us do things, like she’s using her power on us. Like we’d know though! Vanya, she’s like that little angel in the background. She doesn’t have to say anything but I know that she cares. She hates it when we step on ants for Christ’s sake! Sometimes when I see Five, I can see genius but he’s arrogant. He always has to show that he’s better than us. Just because he can control his power! We know Fivey, just calm down a notch, will you? 


	5. Dear [REDACTED]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was done by Fighting4Fandoms!

Dear A-Complete-Waste-Of-My-Time, 

Why?

Why did my brain-dead siblings decide that diaries were a good idea? Okay, fine. I know it was Mom but I’m not blaming her. 

I was going to use this diary for other things, like my calculations because apparently my walls aren’t ‘ideal’ according to Dad… Luther… everyone else. Pogo didn’t seem to mind as much. I need to figure out these equations if I am going to do what I’m going to do. Vanya’s the only one who knows. I trust Vanya. It isn’t because she’s ‘ordinary’, it’s because she actually listens to what I have to say and I listen to her. I like her music, at least the music she plays on her violin. She’s really good actually. The music seems to calm me and get the juices in my brain flowing. Mom said my mind was extraordinary while Dad likes to point out my recklessness. I am not reckless. Unlike everyone else in this family, I know how to control my powers and use them to the best of my ability. 

Although, Dad did throw me out of that window that one time. I haven’t forgotten. I nearly broke my arm that time. I don’t get motion sickness as such but if I teleport too much, I get awful headaches and my brain starts to hurt. I get tired too. I nearly passed out last night, trying to figure out the correct calculations. You see, I have a plan. Dad says I’m not ready. I have mastered the ability to manipulate space, now I need to master the manipulation of time. I know I can do it. Pogo talked to me about chronokinesis. The challenges it can possess but I’ve already thought about them. I know I can jump through time. I know the risks. I just want to prove to Dad that I can actually do it. 

I know I can. 


	6. Dear Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was done by funkyneighbourhoodlesbian!

Dear diary,

Today I watched the clouds. I saw one that looked like a duck, and another that looked like a little rabbit.

The weather is nice today.

Vanya seemed upset, more than usual. She didn’t want to talk about it, but I shared marshmallows with her when Dad wasn’t looking.

Me and Diego have been bonding over books. I wanted to try helping him overcome his stutter, but I’m not as good at helping him as Mom is.

Earlier, Klaus referred to my powers as my “bentacles”. I thought it was funny, though I’d never admit that to him.

Klaus tried to fit fifteen hotdogs in his mouth. He’s a hazard to himself and to society.

Number Five was holed up in his bedroom all morning. I’m not sure what was so important that he felt like he couldn’t come out, but I managed to convince him to join us outside for some fresh air. He seemed more relaxed after that.

A cat sat outside of the gate for a while. I kept an eye on it until it walked away. It’s been a good day.

I love it when dogs tug on their leashes to come and say hello to you. I’m just as excited to meet you too, puppy.

We snuck out to Griddy’s after training. Allison and Luther shared a donut. Do they still believe that we don’t know? We’ve all seen the way they look at each other. I enjoyed myself, spending time with them. It was nice to see my siblings laughing for once.

I like to make people smile. It feels good.

  
  
  


_ I wasn’t ready to go to Heaven, but thankfully Klaus pulled me from the grave before I did. I’m glad I have his company until I am ready.  _


	7. Dear V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was done by funkyneighbourhoodlesbian!

Dear diary,

I hate being the ordinary one in the family. I’m never listened to. I get ignored, rejected, left out, even by my own “father”. At least Mom made me feel included when she gave us all a diary each. Sometimes I wish I had powers, too, but I don’t want to become a self-righteous asshole like the others. I just want someone to notice  _ me,  _ for once.

I miss Five. He was the only one who gave a damn about me. Ever since he went missing I’ve felt so, so lonely. The others seem to have completely forgotten he existed. Or maybe they’re choosing to ignore his absence, like they ignore me. I don’t want them to ignore it. I want to scream in their faces, “Five is gone, why don’t you care?!” They would probably pretend that I don’t exist as well. I’ve always been invisible to them, but not to Five. He was the only one who could see me.

Now, I have no one. No one to confide in but this book. No one to listen to me play my violin. I won’t lose hope, though. He’ll come back eventually. He has to, I need him to. I’m so alone without him. Every night I wait up for him, just in case. I leave snacks out for him in case he’s hungry when he gets back. And I always, always leave the lights on. I hope he’s ok, wherever he is. I hope I get my brother back in one piece. I wonder if he's missing me as much as I miss him. Please, come home safe, Five.

Maybe one day, I’ll write a book. I’ll tell the whole world how horrible it is to be a Hargreeves. If the world hears my voice, then maybe my siblings finally will, too. All I want is for them to listen.


End file.
